The 5 Biggest Self-Love Lessons I Learned in 2021
Hey beautiful soul! So happy you’re here! It’s a new year! Hope you are enjoying it so far!
In early 2022, when I sat down and reflected on my year that was 2021, I had 5 lessons that came up over and over. No matter what action I took or what mistake I was about to make, these 5 lessons helped me get through them. On the days I triumphed and on the days I felt defeated, looking back, these are the true lessons I learned.
I hope sharing what I learned helps you to know that they aren’t alone and that these lessons can apply to anyone! I will be taking these lessons into 2022, and hope you will too!
With that said, the 5 biggest Self-Love lessons I learned in 2021 are:
#1 – It’s okay to ask for help
#2- Get out of your own way
#3- Rest is productive
#4- Be YOU: Own your power
#5- Trust.
Let’s dive into each one!! 👇🏻
#1 - It’s okay to ask for help
I come from the corporate world where asking for help, or not knowing the answer is a sign of weakness. I also believe this stems from growing up in the Midwest where there is a lot of pride, so not being able to do something on your own is a weakness. I kept telling myself this story: “You are weak if you ask for help.”
I finally realized: it was actually costing me MORE by staying in this mindset. It was exhausting, and it made me feel very alone.
So, this is your reminder that it is NOT a weakness. It’s actually a sign of strength. It’s a sign that you are ready to move forward in your life and make a change for the better. And asking for help prevents burnout, overwhelm, and resentment. You don’t want to start resenting yourself and the people in your life because you were too afraid to ask for help.
So what does asking for help look like? You could find a therapist or counselor. You could work with a coach or a healer. Or even asking a loved one for help like your partner, parents, or friends. And if you work in an office, know that you can’t do everything yourself, and ask for help from a co-worker, or your boss.
For me personally, I have a mentor that is so kind and lets me message her when I need help in my business. And in my personal life, it’s my partner. I remember one day I was so overwhelmed and he just reminded me, like I always reminded him, to ask for help. And I asked him if he could do the dishes that day instead of me. And I it was so helpful for me to just have 10 minutes of rest instead of doing the dishes. And my BFFs, my mom, and my extended family are always there when I need help too.
Please always remember, asking for help is worth it to move your life forward and prevent resentment and burnout. Of course you can do things alone, but I promise, your life will expand and accelerate so much more when you ask for help.
#2 - Get out of your own way
I want you to think about what mindsets, habits, patterns you feel aren’t serving you? And how can you remove those from your life so you can live a more positive, intentional life?
Maybe just like the last one, you’re afraid to ask for help. Maybe you feel guilty by taking 30 minutes to yourself every day. Maybe you are scared to put yourself out there in your job, or making new friends, or dating or traveling. Or maybe you spend too much time scrolling through social media than doing others things you want to be doing.
Those unhelpful mindsets, habits and patterns could be keeping you stuck. The reality is. You get to choose. You get to take actions that best serve you. You CAN get out of your own way.
So ask yourself: How can you start telling yourself different stories, or choose different habits that serve your dream life?
#3 - Rest is productive
In my opinion, we live in a society that glamorizes being busy. There is a toxic hustle culture, and that applies to people working in an office or working for themselves. But the truth is, when you are go go go you never have time to stop and check in on your mental, physical and spiritual health. When you are super stressed and overwhelmed, it can contribute to you living in a state of dis-ease.
Taking a rest day is not detrimental to your life. It helps reset your nervous system and clear your mind. I’ve had weeks where I’m working on the same project every single day and nothing is clicking, so I decide I will take the rest of the day off to read, or watch my favorite show, or take a walk, and come back to it. And actually, during that time new ideas come into focus. Doing these things made me feel more connected to myself, to my loved ones, and nature.
So ask yourself – What do you need a rest from to make your life better? Maybe it’s a day free from social media. Maybe you take a mental health day from work. Maybe an unhealthy relationship in your life? How can you set up better boundaries so you are filling your cup first so you can take time to rest, reset and become a better version of yourself?
#4 - Be You: Own Your Power
One of my favorite quotes is “be yourself, everyone else is already taken.”
I spent the majority of the year thinking I needed to embody a certain personality to be successful. (And actually, when I really think about it, I was like that in my jobs too. I mirrored exactly what my bosses were doing, even when I felt it wasn’t right, and it was more detrimental to the company in general.) In my own business, I realized I was mirroring how others ran theirs, which obviously isn’t in alignment with what I’m trying to achieve because I’m not them.
It wasn’t until I FINALLY figured out that being ME was the key. I feel like I finally stepped out of someone else’s skin and stepped into mine. It was a breath of fresh air. I had to remind myself that it is SAFE to be me. It was a mantra I had on repeat this year. I think social media really messes with our heads sometimes and we feel like if we aren’t like the people on our screens, something is wrong with us. I was feeling that way too.
But stepping into the most authentic version of myself has propelled my life forward in ways I never imagined.
The truth is the world needs what YOU specifically have to offer. When you step into what makes YOU unique, what makes you powerful. That’s what the world needs. Truly align with your passions, your purpose, your JOY. What lights you up, what starts a spark in your heart. Do those things, be those things and you will feel your life shift. The world needs that from you. And YOU need that from you.
#5 - Trust
OMG - I can’t believe we are already at the last one!! Trust. My word for 2021 was TRUST. It was the biggest word on my vision board, it was what I reminded myself of during my hard times, and it was the most important piece of my 2021 puzzle.
I had to learn how to trust myself, trust the process, trust the learning lessons, and trust in the magic of the universe that I’m being delivered exactly what is meant for me.
Self-Trust is one of THE hardest things to implement. In my signature program, I use a specific step-by-step self-love system called The Self-Love Roadmap and the last step is Self-Trust. It’s last because it’s necessary to remove certain beliefs, change your mindset, show yourself acceptance, gratitude, and self-care, and once you do those things, it’s easier to trust yourself, because you KNOW yourself.
You know you will keep promises to yourself. You trust that the mistakes you make are leading you to something better. You trust a person coming or leaving your life is there for a reason. You trust that when you ask the universe, or god, or source (whatever you use) to guide you, they will.
The other choice is choosing to look at the negatives, to live in a “why me” state, and stay stuck. Try to change your thinking to that of life isn’t happening TO you, it’s happening FOR you.
Your thoughts create your actions, which create your life, so when you change your mindset from “why is this happening to me”, to “what is this teaching me, and how can I move forward in a positive way”, your life will look different.
So, just remember to ask yourself: What can I learn from this? How can I find meaning in this situation? How can I let go, move forward and approach this differently next time? When you keep growing and learning, you are developing that trust.
And there you have it!
Those are my 5 Self-Love lessons!!
I remember talking to my mentor in November/December and telling her that every week felt like a month and every day felt like a week because I learned so much about myself, and made the choice to make mistakes, to take actions that I wouldn’t have taken before no matter how scary.
And even if everything wasn’t exactly how I pictured it, it was EVEN better because I never knew my mindset could change so much and my heart could grow so much, and my trust and confidence in myself could grow so much. For the first time in YEARS, I finally felt okay being me.
I’d love to hear from you… Tell me in the comments which one resonated with you the most!
To dive deeper or talk about anything that came up for you while reading this, you can book a free Self-Love Breakthrough Session with me. I’m here to support you!
Wishing you the happiest, healthiest, most authentic version of you for 2022! ✨
