The other morning, as I was putting my shoes on, leashing up my dog, seeing the sun shine through the window, this terrifying thought crept in: What would it be like to be alone with my own thoughts? 

No music. No podcast.

Just the sounds of the city… and my own thoughts. 

I was so scared. But after years of Self-Love and personal development work, I know that being scared and uncomfortable means there is a chance for growth. So I tried it. 

And it was the most magical morning. As the sun shined on my face, I could hear the traffic, dogs barking, construction, garbage trucks, people chatting, telling me Good Morning. All these sounds you take for granted, but also make you feel so alive! 

And between all those beautiful sounds: I got to know myself. Ask myself questions. Hear the answers. Come to conclusions. Be silly with my thoughts. 

You see, I used to be scared of what would happen if I was alone with my thoughts. What would I think? Am I safe?

So I would mask them with music, podcast, tv shows.

But really, when we can get quiet. The truth gets to come through. Our TRUE selves. Our REAL selves. And, we can truly HEAR ourselves.

And it occurred to me. This is the foundation of Active Listening. Which is so important in leadership development.

Yes, I cover Active Listening with my clients, but not before we learn how to listen to ourselves first. To make our minds a safe space to be in. So we can get quiet. Be seen and heard by ourselves. 

Once we learn how to do that. We can be present, fully give our attention to others and be better listeners. Active listeners. Letting others feel seen and heard. 

Learning how to be safe with my own thoughts, in my own body, is one of the most important steps I’ve taken to truly love myself. And it’s changed the way I show up for others, how I hear them, and how I see them. 

Active listening would not be possible without Self-Love.

So, lead yourself first. Love yourself first. Get quiet. And watch what happens.